Sunday, July 11, 2010

Week 14: The 13th Month of the Year...


With aging comes the need for less sleep. Instead of eight hours, I now grab six. I started thinking about this last week and realized that sleeping less means I am awake 2 hours more a day... or 730 hours extra a year... or a whopping 30.4166666666666 extra DAYS every 12 months. This is tantamount to discovering a 13th month of the year! I feel like I have found the lost city of Atlantis or something.

Wow... what to do with all this extra time? Of course some of it is used up just by virtue of being older now - time used trying to remember things I forgot, retrieving words that are on the 'tip of my tongue' but wandering aimlessly about the brain til I can nab them again, finding the reading glasses, looking for things I have misplaced, getting out of chairs which seem to have sunken to deeper depths and definitely the garden takes longer to weed now. It alone could gobble up 1/2 a month. So, is this why we have been given this new-found time in our lives? Do we need it to get things done in older age or even just to get moving  as each new day dawns?

Still one extra month IS a LOT of extra time and I think it deserves some recognition. For instance maybe there should be a special seniors' calendar - one with 13 months in a year. Where would we position our extra month? Would you prefer spring or summer? And it would have to have a name of course - one with senior intent.  In answer to the month of 'March' we could follow up with the month of 'Meander' or in answer to the month of 'November' we could try 'Yesember' in true senior contrariness. 
No... well names have never been my long suit.

But think of it... There'd be a whole extra month before having to pay income taxes. A whole extra month before the snow would need shoveling. A whole extra month before the next medical check-up and that mammogram could just plain wait an  extra oh-so-grateful 30 days. Since this 13th month doesn’t show up on most anybody’s calendar so far but mine, I am not yet ‘penciled in’ to do a darn thing during those 30 days, be anywhere anytime particular, or pay even one single blessed bill. I could just fill up the (sugarless) lemonade pitcher, grab some books and lay out on the sundeck for 30 glorious days. Wanna join me? You can come IF you are over 50 and live by the elongated seniors' calendar too. I think Hallmark would warm to this idea, don't you? Think of how many more cards they could sell with a 13-month year. It could be a whole new occasion that lasts 30.416  days - longer even than Christmas.

Tongue-in-cheek aside, time definitely grows more precious with age. Focusing on this every day, helps us to recognize each moment for the real gift it is. I don't mean to sound all gushy about this. (Gosh I do so hate gush.) Recently though I have been hit with a lot of new things and they all seem to be about aging and time and what's been used up and in what way and how much time is left and wow every moment really is pretty wonderful after all, isn't it? Hmmmm. The trick is figuring out how to appreciate it all. So though I doubt we can get Hallmark to reform the Julian calendar to recognize our special month, maybe instead what we can do is find 2 hours worth of minutes every day of the year to concentrate on NOW. What we have NOW. What the birds sound like NOW. How the flowers and river and trees smell NOW. How our grandchildren's laughter carries on the wind NOW. How smoothly the beaver swims along the river's current NOW. For 120 minutes a day. Otherwise it is just a whole month every year completely and utterly wasted, unused and under-appreciated. It's like being given a brightly packaged, very generous gift and then refusing to open it. Whoops! I tore the wrapping paper!

Thanks for walking with me on my footpath this week.

Gillian


TRAILS:  Bracebridge Trails Map Page. 
WEEK 14 :: 12 PHOTOS:  You'll find them HERE.

BBPP Weekly Health Check:
Mind:  As the holiday Christmas-cracker-producing season encroaches, the annual preoccupation with time resurfaces.  I always worry about getting everything done in the short holiday work period availalble.  Orders arrive with a jumble once the end of summer approaches and it seems the 18 hour - 7 day work week takes over. This year I have started the Christmas season a few weeks early with the hope of achieving more balance - time for the extra work load and time for LIFE and LIVING. We'll see...
Body:  After 4 1/2 months of mostly effortless dieting, I have hit a wall.  The past 3 weeks have been sheer challenge. All I can think about is FOOD.  A little physical activity - walking, swimming, whatever helps but last week's incredible heat and humidity made that a little tougher than usual.  Focused creativity also keeps the mind out of the fridge!
The Artist Soul:  Honestly, you'd laugh.  Every other evening I run down to the river about 8pm and start looking for the beavers.  Within minutes one or another of them  surfaces swimming along the river's edge and every night I try to take a better beaver picture. The photos are improving but the really 'good' one I know is going to come some day has still not been snapped.   Meanwhile in all this running up and down the river after them, I have come to really love these adorable and sometimes cranky creatures.  They are hard workers (I know, I know, they ate your young sapplings this spring. I'm sorry, really. I hear that a lot), exquisite swimmers and just generally smart, crafty little guys.  And what's not to love about those nifty tails of theirs? My artist soul has quite fallen for them.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Week 13: "Smart dogs KNOW ice cream is GOOD!"

OK, ask me how hard it was last night in this searing heat wave NOT to buy ice cream! There it was stacked high in the freezer case at Shopper's Drugmart. A premium dairy brand. In every flavour I LOVE. And half-price. GIVE ME A BREAK! How is one to keep losing pounds and building muscles during these dog days of summer when smart dogs everywhere KNOW that ice cream is good for you to eat.  Calories... do they care?

But, you'll be proud of me. I settled on 2 diet 7-ups (an emergency purchase and immediately consumed to fend off the heat exhaustion acquired en-route) and some very low-fat yogurt. Yes, you're right, my halo does pinch a wee bit this morning. Dieting is so very hard for me. I have always been a rather passionate individual inside. I guess it is part of the artisan's creative personality to be like this. Add to that a tendancy towards compulsive behaviour and it all spells trouble with a capital 'T'. One peanut or one small handful of peanuts just never quite does the trick. I forge on and on. It never augers well, I'm afraid.

Here's the thing. I LIKE being passionate! I LOVE grabbing at life greedily with both hands, feeling deeply, heart-on-sleeve, taking emotional risks with people, new situations and art alike, living out the daily drama to it's fullest extent. Not stopping til all the possibilities and opportunities have been explored. There is a directive written right into the 'Gillian genes' that says: 'Grow whenever, however, wherever you can'.  Unfortunately it is the 'wherever' part that screws things up as these genes don't discriminate before growing fat thighs. But what the hay, it is what 'feeds' the creative process - for me anyway. Is my waistline doomed for life? Ya think? I am NOT giving up. I have, as you know, been exercising and dieting now since Valentine's. 'Heart Day' seemed like the perfect occasion to begin a '3rd-trimester-of-life' plan. I am proceeding very slowly, losing the equivalent of only about 1 lb per week. So far 30 pounds have bit the dust. But this isn't a race to take off weight. It IS an exercise to find renewed health AND creativity AND a newly adjusted path to find my way through the coming years.

Passion and dieting are tough cookies to balance. I don't want at the end of my life NOT to have tried out all the stuff that I really wanted and had the opportunity to try. Not to have told everyone I met and liked that I loved them. Not to have gone places I really wanted to go. Not to have flown high in the planes for which I hold such terror. Not to have felt all that I could possibly feel about living and being alive. Not to have eaten ice cream during the long hot summers of life. And on birthdays. And anniversaries.  And Sundays and Thursdays!  Ah... you can see my predicament!  But, we can't give up our passion for the things we love in life or we are already doomed, I fear, to unhappiness and dreary days ahead, becoming needlessly, avoidably 'old' of spirit.

So part of this year's learning is not so much to become thin as it is to retain all the passioniate zest for life AND retain moderate weight levels. To live life full-extent AND acknowledge that it is only 6 months and 24 days until age SIXTY (oh boy) arrives. You notice the word 'AND'. Because I am certain we can learn to do both: keep passion alive AND cultivate moderation; keep the spirit and energy of youth AND grow into our older years. 

"How?" you ask. Don't know yet; I'm working on it. Sigh. The first step I think is to simply be concious of who we are, being honest about this and about how we operate inside and what we WANT and need to be 'us' going forward. I think it is about BALANCE too. Even when dieting, it IS ok to have ice cream when we passionately WANT some 'AND' when we can also BALANCE it with MORE exercise or a few MORE minutes of walking.

So it's not about LESS so much as about MORE. MORE ice cream and MORE walking. My particular Waterloo is food. Other folks get felled by emotions, relationships, affairs, gambling, under-acheivement, over-achievement, boredom, health, depression, work - whatever. To figure it out in ourselves, we need to make  a  little time to get to know ourselves as well and as honestly and with as much compassion, forgiveness and humour and love as we possibly can muster. Then we can figure out what we need MORE of to get where we WANT to go. Only then, rather than eliminating the things we love and want but which seem to get us into trouble can we add in the word 'AND' to the equation to get the 'MORE' we want with the kind of life BALANCE we need.

More ice cream 'AND' More walking = a passionately fulfilling 'AND' balanced hot summer day! I'll let you know how it all goes this summer. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, Thank you for travelling with me along my foothpath this week.

Cheers,
Gillian


My TRAILS MAPS: You'll find them HERE.
WEEK 13 :: 12 PHOTOS: You'll find them HERE.
BBPP Weekly Health Check:
Mind:
 I am finding it important each week to take the time to write these blogs. Otherwise, work just takes over. For me this is already Christmas season and work on the Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice/New Year's line has begun. But it is important - so important - to stop once a week to reflect on the here-and-now and where we are situated in the immediacy of this moment in time.
Body: Struggling SO hard. Just managing to hold on to the status quo. It doesn't help to be filling wedding orders and having boxes of Jelly Belly beans and Toblerone's and Italian Maple nougat hanging about on the cracker-making shelves. Until this heat wave is over and it is safe again to go on longer romps, I will accept just holding my own if that is all that is comfortably achievable this week.
The Artist Soul:
The word this week is GREEN. After spending a most happy day at Pine Lake with dear friends, I felt so filled up by the green there - of the lush vegetation and the white pines, and the red pines and the hemlocks and the immediately recognizable, sweet-smelling poplars. My soul filled right up with the green of it all. I will try making a collage of greens this week.
 

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Week 12: News from the north and south of here...

It took all of the 4 mile walk along a quiet stretch of the Muskoka River tonight to quell the 'unsettled' feelings in my mind resulting from this past weekend's G8 and particularly G20-related events in Toronto.  The news coverage, the photos, the personal accounts, the emails from friends living or working across the dowtown city core left me with a wide range of impressions and feelings. So there is no usual blog this week.  Just words - free associations if you will - about both the G8 and G20 conferences:

G8... Huntsville... waiting... buildup... preparations... g8 money... pink intersections... security... annoyances... fix... clean... plant trees... expectations... shop owners... anxious... waiting, waiting... sales?... business?... Medeved... desk... dinner... Cameron... swim... Africa... maternal health... abortion... money... unkept promises... women... children... dying... protesters.. where are they... press... outside the loop... not invited... deficits... reduce... cut... Harper... change language... all done... peaceful... on to the next... weather... helicopters... buses... exodus... highway closed... did we blink?...

G20... Toronto... getting there... fog... rain... Royal York... protesters... organize... signs... banners... placards... messages... poverty... money health... body health... walking... shouting... peace... peaceful... march... groups... unions... labour... first nations... children... surprise... pace... black kerchiefs... suddenly... fear... running... rushing... Soho Street... stones... bricks... sticks... windows... smashing... ScotiaBank... Starbucks... running more... fence... FENCE... keep AWAY from the fence... car fires... smoke... tires exploding... taking photos... what's happening?... policeman with hose... fire trucks... police?... POLICE... riot gear... horses... running... pushing... back... protect... warn... stay at home... get back... get BACK!... leave NOW... tear gas... rubber bullets... batons... visors... arrests... detain... detention... confusion... lawyer?... phone?... water?... family?...  questions... why... whynot... night... 4 sewer rats... caught... night fears... tomorrow?...

Sunday morning... police... POLICE... POLICE!... university... arrests... snatch and grab... detention centre... protests... warn... warning 2... warning THREE... rain... march... Queen West... cornered... up against the wall... cold... scared... wrong place wrong time... court services wagons... arrests... detained... released... photos... plastic cuffs...   plastic bags... no shoes... no phone calls... night... uneasy...

Monday... what happened?... finger pointing... accusations... recriminations... explanations... encore... more protesters... peaceful... forceful... Police headquarters... College Street... police... bicycles... more police... more protestors... movement...let's get going... walk... block the west... horses... City Hall... Queen's Park... day's done... relief... no fires...  no broken glass... no broken bodies...

I know there should be - are - more words, more adjectives and verbs and nouns needed to express all that happened this past weekend. I feel we have 'come of age' here in Canada in some horrible new dimension. It will take weeks and months for us to sort this out.  It will take open minds, listening, tolerance, commitment, resolve, recognition, forgiveness, healing.  

Thanks for travelling with me on my footpath this week ...
Gillian


WEEK 12 :: 12 PHOTOS:  You'll find them HERE.

BBPP Weekly Health Check:
Mind:  Tough work week; tough corporate customer; disappointing outcome.
Body:  It's hard to keep dieting when so stressed and worried about work and money.  Trying to figure out how to get this year's Christmas start-up sufficiently funded; Wondering about bills; wondering if/when orders will arrive; wondering how to fill them; worrying about finding shoe money for all this walking about.  The stress comes out in nervous eating. The best I could do was try to use up more calories than I ate this week with the hope of, at the very least, breaking even. Won't give up...this is for life.
The Artist Soul:  On the way home from walking tonight, I was still lost in thought about the Toronto vandalism and the disappointment of the protestors in not getting their messages heard... SO lost in thought that I nearly stepped on a poor beaver's tail! Not sure which of us jumped higher in surprise.  Beaver jumped into the river; I jumped forward quickly along the river path. Second time in a month that I have been eyeball to eyeball with a big fat beaver!  These creature contacts continue to feel precious - they are true soul connections.  Animals communicate so directly, truthfully.